Uncatalogued Aria

Words become flesh. The realist shit ever wrote can only be recognized by those who can see with their 3rd eye. The one who can understand the depth in every moment. Can see a portrait of an instance with instinct. See the light but also the shadow that holds life and time. The ones who express for therapy and the ones who read therapeutically. When you look, look with acceptance and understand you alone can only decide to see the guidance in matter.
Look in the mirror. What do you see? Is it your life that you perceive? Who is navigating you? What is navigating you? Are you even being directed? Look in the mirror and you see that fitted cap tilted to the right, with you hair strategically laid against your forehead to hide your plateau of innocence. Hiding the landscape of a tattered soul. Move down to an oasis that is sheltered by specs the size of Cd's. The shades that hide your insides, your being. Those lenses hide more then your truth, but your vulnerability. Hiking through the world with a demeanor that is full of ambiguity. No one can see in, on the contrary you aren't really looking out. Eyes defy the material. They are what is left once the clothes and accessories are gone. They will travel with you and see everything. Coincidentally they show everything. Those eyes, show the tribulations and trial of your inner messiah. The truth of your emotions. Only to be resurrected if you still believe. The divine speaks to only those who will listen. Your psyche says what you want it to. You can think with your mind, but your heart will reveal truth. A constant battle between the practical and the spiritual.
The practical is the defense mechanism. It plays an afflicted symphony against your soul. Fighting in offense in defense, and forgets that survival in Homosapien minds is to find serenity. This biological entitlement to find its equilibrium.
The struggle of man is self scrutiny. From analyzing your life and learning your SELF, whether it be through truthfulness or falseness. Leads you contemplation, leaves you judging yourself with the sense of sin. Sin is not a God concept. It is a moral dilemma instinctively learned for each individual, its measure varies person to person, but the verdict can be the same. SELF destruction. We are programmed to believe that shortcomings are faults and that if we continue to live as a "deviant" in our reality, that we should suffer. This leads to the annihilation of the SELF.
Self scrutiny does not have to lead to the destruction of oneself and the divergence from reality. Through self knowledge one can learn to understand and appreciate the world. Realise the beauty of their obstacles and see the truth in the darkest areas. Light is seen most in darkness. Life's goal should not be to reach a state of melancholy. Committing such carnage on oneself has no end and the feelings will create a more hate towards oneself.
You are the culprit and the victim in your world. You are the culprit and victim in the real world. To be a culprit you are a victim of society, victim of a life that never appreciated you. You subconsciously, or possibly consciously decide to spread this disease with you actions. That you have been entitled to behave in this manner because the world is a horrible place and that is your niche. This is juvenile. The world works without you.
The victim, and there are to many of these, are the ones who cannot control the world around them. Constantly subjected to treatment that rips their souls until they feel like the incubus that made them. They are of greatness, hold the innocence which is truth. This greatness is what people hurt. The dominant are not always the great.
Life is a transition, and identifying yourself in a classification is a crime to your being. With definition comes an anchor that leaves you stuck in time. ::Cliche:: life must be fluid. Like the eyes of an infant who is looking for a new stimulate all the time. Wide eyed open. Life is progression and no one can survey what progression truly is. Some things are just to abstract. Truth must be found outside of your constructs. The satisfaction is knowing you can always look outside of your world and know there is something greater out there.
This humility must be reached so one can live, love, and create. Be wise and humble, it is your responsibility to bring others to the truth. Once your eyes are open, never let them close, because while you are looking out, someone is looking in.

He has given me

My blogs have been a lot of reflections. But they are not self evaluations. I do not have to equate to a destiny yet for it has just started. redundant. My relationship with Allah has been a roller coaster. I am "god conscious" since I was young, I have been conscious of his existence. But not that he truly existed. There were moments where I believed he was no more then a concept. Mans greatest worst invention. The ruler of judgment, the principal. But I stand firm, to my convictions, that he does exist. I cannot and will not try to make anyone believe so. I am not compulsive. But my life is an example, at least to me, the HE does truly exist. There are millions of people out there that associate to a faith and describe him with mutual descriptions; i can describe him with my feelings. My life is an example of HIS work. The ups and downs are biblical. They are momentous in my eyes. If I am important to everyone, I am that Adam, Moses, Noah, David, Jesus, and Muhammad. HE has spoken to me in a different tongue. HIS hand has guided me in a different era. So I am the believer of his message. Not singled to one defined faith. I am example of a man who strives to meet him with peace. Peace in my heart because that is the only way I can exist. Knowing that HE is happy with me, and that I deserve HIS love. GOD is ALLAH to me. The divine, no association, no personification. Beyond any one's comprehension. Trying to imagine the universe, and then filling it will descriptions of scientific findings would not ever give me a picture of what the universe is. So how can I expect anyone else to tell me who ALLAH is to me. No one can. So what I did and will do is continue to talk with him. I will have my divine conversations. ALLAH speaks through my conscience. My language consist of two words so far, that I take from Surah al Asr. Haq, truth, and Asr, patience. I look for truth in anything. And i practice patience with everything. It humbles me to know that I do not have to suffer. I am above the strains of the mind. The inability to foresee the future. It is what sends others into panic and stress. I believe failure and success are part of ALLAH's language. He uses this to convey his message. Heaven I believe is the ability to think outside of this world. This is why you believe in the life now and the "live hereafter." But Heaven is not a place, I think it is just like the concept of Nirvana. It is the everyone must strive for, but few will attain. Think outside this world, think outside the capabilities of your mind. Being able to think outside of the construct. But how can you do this when your mind is anchored to this earth. All things you think are connected to earth and what you were taught. Like the Taoist, who believe that being taught contaminated the mind. The innocent jovial mind of a child has the capability to expand past what we know. It is still abstract. It does not worry about defining each thought and emotion. Its fears are dismal. There is no boundaries. Imagination can loosely be the key to enlightenment. But at the same time, there is no such thing as pure imagination. How do you find a place in the mind where abstract and logic are erased. Where thought is free, without knowing its free. I believe that is the language of ALLAH. When he removes fear, and trust is not unquestioned. That is when your mind is free to expand and reaches heaven/nirvana/enlightenment. ALLAH is the infinite thought, the unlimited concept of a undefined and non describable plain. Be above all.

Life Circle

Life is rhythm. It is not always the same song. It isn't always the happiest song. I like to think of my life song like a great classic masterpiece. It is dynamic and travels the spectrum of sound. My mind resonates thoughts at different measures, flips, stops, accelerates, it is never predictable, but I know how to play it. My life music right now is beautiful, and has been for a while. This Ramadan, marked an important journey in my life. I embarked on a transition phase that I consciously knew of, but did not control. I allowed Allah to guide me with his hand as I shaped into a new person. There are studies that pose, every 5 years your body has went through a regrowth. Your cells are all new, this is an estimated time of the process of regrowth. I am not a doctor but this fact if factual are fascinating. I believe the mind divides your life into increments of 5 years as well. At least i am satisfied with that. So at the age of 25, I am brand new again, rejuvenated. The last 5 years for me, with reflection I can say were wonderful. It was where I was at, the first time I really faced responsibility and repercussions. I also learned about my adult self, and found myself. I lost my innocence, pushed limits I never thought I would, and did exactly the opposite of what my childhood dreams were. But these are not disappointments at all, it is humbling. I am jovial. More then when I was a kid who was combated with emotions that I couldn't define. Learning the whims of the world and translating it into disappointment. I am wiser and smarter. I am a foolish person now. I am cause I am happy, I found the secret. It is relative to how you look at your life, is your body and soul a tattered and scarred figure? Mine is impervious to destruction. More, I cannot do any harm to myself. My mind, my beliefs, my future will not allow it. I would like to attribute this strength to Allah. But I have to dissect it so I can give praise to what I am grateful for. My family, Mother and Father, they have given me a relationship that is golden. To have a relationship with these two people, who are gentle at heart, intellectual and calm in the mind, and beam in the soul. They are my guidance. My brother and sister who I believe had grown with me on my journey are my favorite constituents. They are my conscience, they are the ears and voice that help me unselfishly. The only people who truly help you in life are the ones who do not have a malicious agenda. Surround yourself with those who want what is best for you. Who will say "I want this for you" and you can believe it. There is someone who has come into my life at this momentous moment, and I know Allah has set this moment in both our futures. She is stimulating to my soul. Given me a charge in life that has shocked me into bliss. Down to earth yet from mars. She more then fits my life, she makes my life something new. I am greatful for my family, for she, and for obama.

23 MJ all Day

I have seen the sunrise and the sunset for 23 days in a row now. Conscious of a day entirely, and pretty much a night for that matter. Fasting has challenged my mind body and soul, i market this as the perfect detox from everything in life. This Ramadan I have never taken fasting more serious, staying away from stimulates, the uppers and downers, and the vulgar. I have embarked on a jovial perspective reminiscent of my childhood. I go through my day whether it be work, school, or family, with such clarity and calmness. The moments when I have been wound up through frustration or anger, are quickly extinguish by the lack of energy to waste. When I use up my resources there is beauty to it, a realization. I am man, weak and at the mercy of Allah. For my convictions have given me the determination to fulfil this duty of my faith, and to embrace it. In the past I have taken on this month with a sense of determination that would falter to anger and skepticism. I would question why Allah would impose a person to practice fasting. Did he want to see my productivity falter, my immune system crash, or me not get to enjoy with my friends? I did not understand the gift that he had presented me. This Ramadan has been a blessing. My mind is at another level of understanding. My nature is in a whole new element and slowly life is beautiful again. For every peril, I have been rewarded with a triumph. For all the perils in my life, I have never felt so triumphant.

I think that filling voids does not give you satisfaction. Close voids by learning why there is an emptiness. The best way to fill a mental whole is to fill it with reason. Be reasonible, there is no reason not to be. redundant.

But learn to enjoy life, familiarise yourself with the feeling of accomplishment. Create your journey, any destination is your choice. Make your pitstops, life is your race only, and time is what you make it. I rather die trying to get there, then have died and never started.

Til then.

6 types of people you can't help

1) you can't help anybody who doesn’t think they have a problem

2) you can't help anybody who thinks you are their problem

3) you can't help anybody who refuses to embrace the scriptural solution to their problems

4) you can't help anybody who wants you to make a bigger investment in them than they're willing to in themselves

5) you can't help anybody who does not have a goal

6) you can't help anybody who does not have a picture of their desired outcome

Big Brother

I am amazingly a big brother. I dont think ive earned that title though. i look back at my life and when it comes to guiding the youngest one of us three, it becomes hard. A man is defined by two different people. the one who is in his own head, who calms himself a man, then there are the ones who are the spectators and decide if you are a man to them. jibberish yet?... im more captivated by the man in his own head. the man i thought i was at 18 or 19 years old. THE MAN who thought he was hard as shit and would change the world. Nothing could stop me back then, except everything. funds, independence, girls, vices, state and federal laws, the list goes on. why is it at an age where i was still vulnerable and inadequate, did i feel like i was a real man? was it the taste of this new rise in testosterone, or the burst of adrenaline when the candles went out on my 18th bday. i guess i will never really know. but now im 25, old, and my little brother is 19, and i just want to tell him how to do everything and let him know that what he is thinking is twisted at times, and genius at others but i cant. its like cat stevens - father and son. "Theres so much you have to know" i know that life isnt easy, and you have so many emotions. in retrospect, i felt a lot, but i definitely was alive back then. maybe i forgot how to feel life, and thats why im so commonplaced. to my brother, and all boymens, patients and truth. i understand even though i dont convey it...

Insomnia

This post will not be profound, and i will keep it short. I am basically writing just to keep the routine, my mind is racing and its 330 in the am, so happy july 4th.

Reflection Eternal

Move somtin, move somtin, move somtin... no its not my booty, but my mind is.

for some reason today necrophilia was a big topic in my mind. the first statement my head spit out was "necrophiliacs have commitment issues" but that was really rude of me to think. after much research i found out the common necrophiliac has rejection issues actually. of course most of them are men, be kinda hard to get a corpse... well you know. its sad to see that men's self-esteem can be destroyed by a women so badly that either they turn to coitus with a corpse cause of the likelihood that a corpse will not say no, or that they can take their aggression on a corpse and not have repercussion.

anyways i really don't know why i thought about this today, but i am anticipating a great weekend. hopefully it cools off a little. hopefully the elections of 08 grow substance. and i hope Nas's new album N****r is coherent and crisp with true direction. I sit and think about how we in the US are dealing with racism, but it is a double-edged sword, and until EVERYONE can accept their similarities and toss their differences 2012 doesn't sound to far fetched.

The Big Bang

Today my blog life has started, much like the earth it has the components to someday possibly harvest some of the most intricate creatures, but this will take time, for cultivation of these multicellular thoughts will take the path of evolution, or possibly extinction... in that case this will be a waste of time. You can be God in my blog world and send me to verbal purgatory where I can wonder around blindly like everyone else. Either way get on your magic carpet and rub my gene, cause I know there will be atleast 1 wish.